Recognizing an abusive relationship

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Since I have begun my journey with Wise Hope, I have found that many believe a relationship is not abusive unless one person actually leaves a mark of some sort on the other. 

This is very untrue. Abuse starts long before a physical strike has been made at the victim. There are many precursors to abusive relationships that can be recognized and mended with the appropriate help. We, at Wise Hope, are ready to help you with your possibly abusive relationship. Here are some common precursors to consider:

Does your partner:

Have unrealistic expectations? Examples include, a perfectly clean house, food on table at certain time.

Have to get his/her own way all the time?

Devalue your opinions, your feelings, and your accomplishments?

Questions you in detail of all your activities?

Looks through your phone at messages/calls that you have received?

Make you ask for permission to do activities (social, errands, extended family)?

Want to know who you are with and forbids you to be around certain friends?

Feel that you spend too much time with family & friends?

Purposely embarrass you in front of others?

Control how much money that you spend/have access to?

Blame you for his/her actions? (You made me so mad. It is your fault that I lost control.)

Force you to have intimate relations when you do not want to?

Use fear to control your actions?

Ever push, shove, or throw you around (into walls, floor, etc.)?

Ever slap you open handed?

Get offended easily, making you “walk on egg-shells”?

If you see that you are having any of these issues, or know of someone who is, help is available. Please contact Wise Hope Jack County Outreach Office at 950-507-0532. Our phones are answered 24-hours a day. The Jack County Outreach Office is located at 200 N Church Street; open Monday – Thursday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. and Friday 9 a.m. –  3 p.m., no appointment necessary.  There are advocates willing and able to listen to your situation. There are a number of FREE services that Wise Hope can offer including education and counseling. Confidentiality is a top priority. Everyone has the right to live respected and violence free!