What were we thinking?
Our bodies change. Our houses change. We trade cars. We move to another house or even to another town. Change is inevitable, but sometimes when we look back on some of our decisions in life, we wonder “What was I thinking?”
Years ago, we decided to use the money I’d earned teaching summer school on some new living room furniture. Our old furniture had come through two wars, a litter of kittens, a chewing puppy and two rounds of potty-training. It was a brown plaid hide-a-bed that weighed six thousand pounds and came with its own mattress and a convenient steel bar which ran down the middle of the mattress for stability. We only used it for slumber parties and college friends without jobs.
So, when we went furniture shopping, everything looked wonderful. It was 1990, and the going-style was overstuffed, roll-arms. The couches had matching loveseats and very large chairs. In the store it looked great. It was very comfortable and easier to move around than the old war horse.
The problem was that we looked at it in a room the size of the local gymnasium. When it came off the delivery truck, the three piece “suite” filled the room from door facings to window ledges. There was no room for extra tables or the unexpected foot stool. There was really no room to walk around. We got rid of the pictures on the walls that had thick frames. We moved the dining table to the garage. But, we didn’t even consider sending it back.
So for ten years, we moved that furniture around and around that room. For a time, a piece or two would visit one of the bedrooms. Then, finally we got rid of it and bought a nice couch … no chair … no footstool … and no loveseat. Looking back, it was a poor decision to buy all that furniture … even if it was on sale.
I bought a Dodge Durango shortly after my first grandchild was born. I was a single woman who lived two and a half hours from the baby … but I insisted on that third row of seats for the “grandkids.” When I traded it, the second seat was spotless and the third seat still was covered in plastic. What was I thinking?
Which brings me to my current dilemma. I’ve lost some weight. I have much more to go, but my clothes should be getting loose. I’ve lost almost forty pounds. You’d think some of those pants would be sagging. The dresses should need belts. The blouses should be hanging off my shoulders. They aren’t. They fit better, but nothing has been adjudged to be “too big.”
So I’ve been thinking … What did those clothes look like when I weighed forty pounds more than I do now? Did I have to leave the buttons open at the waist? Did I have to wear a second shirt under the one that wouldn’t button? What did I look like with my dressed hiked up in the back over my Kardashian rear end? What was I thinking?
It’s inevitable that we are going to change. It’s also quite possible that the decisions we make now and in the future will be better than the ones we made when we were younger, dumber, and must not have owned a mirror.
My goal weight is a long way off. I haven’t been that small since I was in junior high, so pretty soon, I’ll have to get some new clothes.
I really like the way these loose clothes feel, so maybe I’ll just go down a little … and avoid the “too small” look that I’ve been sporting for the last ten years. Change is something one should take seriously … especially when we have fewer years to correct it.