There are several very good insurance commercials on television these days. Veterans, sports personalities, cartoon characters, and even an emu all take their turns entertaining and drawing you in to the “really good deals” with their companies. To hear them tell it, only their company really cares about you. They will be there when you need them. They will be waiting for your call. They will not make you pay for something you don’t need. All of them, even the emu, can be proud of some really good advertising minutes.
Of course, one of my favorites is that little Cockney-accented lizard who struts around his little bitty world assuring us that they’ve got us covered. Speaking of voices, one commercial revolves around the deep voice and wise message of their spokesperson … even when it comes from the mouth of a four-year-old. One of the “stars” looks a little like a waitress in a diner … but comes off as the expert nobody pays enough attention to. There’s a duck. There’s the personification of Mayhem falling through your roof, driving over your motorcycle, and generally wreaking mayhem.
The squatty little army guy in a too tight uniform and quirt hops into the convertible with Shaquille O’Neal. Enough said. But if he is military, why isn’t he working for that military insurance that’s restricted to active duty and retired military. I don’t qualify for it. Why is it we always think the thing we can’t have is better … and we really want the good deal that only a few can get. Take that … Cousin Clyde.
The pitch lines use a lot of very weighty words. “Easy.” Have you ever applied for insurance? Not easy. If it’s easy, it’s certainly not cheap. One company said it is so easy that a Caveman could do it. And … why would he need insurance? Another good volatile phrase is “good hands.” To be taken care of, cradled in a two-hand hold, protected, … loved by an insurance company. It’s got to be a good thing.
And this this afternoon, I realized why that emu was trying to get us to “only buy what we need.” My guess is that they give you a plethora of choices: renters insurance, teenage driver insurance, insurance that covers the other person involved, insurance that will provide a decent motel after the flood, and insurance that will only cover a tent after the flood … Like I said a plethora of choices. The problem is what do you need.
Have you ever been to a really big cafeteria? So many choices. So many little plates. Most of us load up those trays … because everything looks like something we might want … or need. In the end we’ve eaten too much, and we find out we are paying through the nose.
The motorcycle might have been under a tarp for six years, but you might need insurance for it. The neighbor’s big tree might come down during a tornado. The new car might get scratched at Walmart. Your mother-in-law might fall down the stairs. By the time you go through the buffet of choices, that “only buy what you need” has turned into a big bill.
If the commercials weren’t so cute, we would be skeptical of all of them. After all we are gambling on what we need. Stay away from the buffet. Order from the menu. Ask someone … even the waiter … what’s good. Don’t get influenced by the ambiance of the place or the sight of that emu squatting over the volleyball.
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