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Emergency Room Etiquette

Wed, 07/29/2020 - 5:00 am

I have found myself in the local Emergency Room several times during the pandemic. Let me just warn you … the Emergency Room is a different place these days. You can mark off at least three hours … if you aren’t very sick. Also, ER visits aren’t quite as exciting as they seem to be on television or as dramatic. Although my friend definitely needed to go to the ER, after about the third hour of sitting behind the closed curtain, I wondered why I was there. Did he need me? He was asleep most of the time. Did he need for me to answer medical questions? Was I needed to give blood donations or help with the paperwork? Not really. But when someone needs to go to the ER, it’s best not to go alone.

I’ve had to depend on others to see me through some of these late-night trips. So, it’s only right that I go along. However, if you find yourself as the “other” in an ER visit, let me give you a few hints to make the visit easier.

Don’t plan on the trip being quick. Plan to miss at least one meal. Maybe go by the Sonic on the way. I wouldn’t suggest taking in food and drink, but a good corndog and Diet Coke in the parking lot can go a long way.

Wear comfortable clothes. Of course, the patient should be comfortable, but by the time you sit wobble-headed in a chair beside the bed for a couple of hours, you would pay big bucks for some fuzzy socks and a stretchy bra. Of course, wear your own mask. If you must get one at the ER, you will end up with a “Duck-billed” piece of cardboard. Not a good thing.

There are several things you should not do in the Emergency Room. For someone as attention-deficit as I am, the ER is a challenge. Just remember, don’t play with the buttons on the monitor. It may be beeping, and you may be very good with computers, but those nurses get testy when you start adjusting the dials.

And another thing … don’t step on the pedal at the foot of the bed. Who knew it could drop so fast? My friend wasn’t impressed with my curiosity. He yelled out, the nurse came in, and they moved my chair to the other side of the room.

In this season of pandemic, try not to cough or sneeze or sweat. Although you probably won’t be hot in those rooms where you could hang meat, if you look the least bit sick, you can end up in line for the “Qtip Challenge.” Furthermore, not many people in that department think it’s funny to talk about “Rona.”

And let me tell you, it’s not a good idea to go visiting the other patients. In a town the size of ours, I knew several of them. Who knew people would be so shy about answering simple questions? “Are you contagious?” “Does that hurt?” And just a simple, “What’s wrong with you?” You’d think they would appreciate a visit from a friend when they were in the hospital.

If you get cold while you are there, and you will get cold, ask for a blanket early on. Oh, you can ask for one for the patient, and they’ll usually give the “sitter” one, too. That is if you haven’t caused any problems … like turning up the thermostat or propping the door open.

And finally, don’t try to make a personal call on the phone at the desk … even if your cell phone battery is running low. They won’t let Pizza Hut deliver there, anyway.