Are we missing something?

Have you ever wondered what’s on those “other” television channels? You know, the ones you don’t watch. I watch the low ones from the major networks: three, six, and so forth up to PBS and that one, only if it stars a good-looking hero and an impelling story … with emphasis on the good-looking hero. Then I skip to a couple of twenty-four-hour cable news channels … just in case Congress actually passes some legislation. It’s common knowledge that sports are not a priority of mine, so I skip those channels … unless my man-friend is visiting, and I pretend I’m a regular fan. 

There are three other networks that I watch. The Food Channel, The Game Channel, and HGTV. I know that’s boring, and there are those out there whose priorities fall elsewhere on the dial, but I find myself watching the same shows over and over. I do record Jeopardy, Lethal Weapon, and Storage Wars. That makes me a well-rounded person. 

But, how about all those other channels? Are we missing out? Is there a world out there beyond ours to which other people turn during their moments of leisure? Maybe. So, tonight I gave up keying in the channel numbers and actually scrolled through the channels … albeit, it was for only a one-hour period. I just wanted to see what was out there. 

It seems you can buy a variety of things on television that are not found in Walmart. There are pieces of jewelry which sell for thousands of dollars. However, on several of these shows (and there are more than several), one can get a real bargain … maybe sixteen thousand dollars less than the going price for a ring you would have to leave in a lock box at the bank. 

Sharks are a big item on the “other” channels. Shark shows, complete with blood-dripping cages and missing limbs, appeared on three different channels. Maybe they were repeats, but I was impressed. Of course, there were a couple of “shark” cartoons, and a great variety of vacuum cleaners and mops. The word “shark” must be a big seller in the advertising business. 

There were several “celebrity interview” shows on some of the higher channels. It seems if one has been in a popular situation comedy some time in your life, you’ve had a traumatic event since then, you’ve spent some time in rehab, and you’ve had hair transplants and Botox injections … someone wants to interview you … and maybe sell your book. 

Sprinkled between the repeated jewelry auctions and the celebrity interviews are medical treatment “news” shows. Here we can find out just what we need to take for our depleted sex drive, our sluggish bowels, and our diminishing memory. We can watch in “living” animation the injection of miracle glue into the spine, thus bringing back our hope for an Olympic career.

Of course, there are movies we can rent for the night, television shows which were popular back when we were too busy to watch them, and weather channels which can tell you exactly the temperature where you are not. Wait long enough, and your weather will come around.

After having perused the “other” channels, I’ve decided I’ll keep going to my favorite six. The other channels are there if I need them, but I can probably do without jewelry, faux-medical news, and interviews with Burt Reynolds. Of course, I’ve got to keep my options open … I might accidentally come upon something good.