I have every reason to be excited about May, but I have the blues. I should be glad school is almost out so I can possibly spend more time with my daughters. I have two children's birthdays in May so I should be happy.
I should be excited about the spring, beautiful flowers, animals waking up and moving about. (My husband killed a copperhead next to the house three weeks ago. Yuk!)
But I have the blues. Sometimes when people ask me why I'm quiet, I say I'm melancholy. I don't like the word depressed, but "blues" and/or "melancholy" seem gentler somehow. It's temporary, usually passes quickly so it's just the blues. I think there are probably a lot of people who occasionally have the blues.
I have the blues for several reasons. May is the busiest time of the year for the newspaper and I'm so busy, I can't think straight. Besides all the end-of-school activities, we have the graduation special section and it must be ready for print this week.
My husband sent me flowers the other day and the tag said, "Miss you." At least it made me laugh. He is so patient with my long hours. He texted me yesterday, "I used to have a wife." I lie awake at night making lists on my phone because I'm afraid I'm going to forget something.
This year, I have a daughter graduating. Trading the "Mom" hat for the "paper" hat back and forth can be tricky. I will miss my daughter when she goes off to college.
I miss my mom. She was my best friend. Her birthday was April 3 and her death day was April 5, 1996. I know it has been a while, but it takes me a couple of weeks to work through a little grief each year about this time. Easter usually follows pretty closely so it helps pull me out, but I truly miss her.
And then the newspaper is going through some big changes. Trish resigned to stay home with the kids and now Shelly is leaving for greener pastures. Elaine Osteen has replaced Trish and is doing great, but we all are trying to help her get going. Change is sometimes hard in the best of circumstances, but losing friends is just a bummer.
Shelly has always joked that she has to go elsewhere because I "wouldn't get out of her chair." Actually, she is not joking. She truly loves the journalism business and I know she will be successful.
I also know when it's time for me to move on and I haven't felt that nudge yet. I'm sorry, Shelly. I guess God has me exactly where He wants me for now.
So I'm sad to lose her. She has been a great help to me and this office and was also our friend, and we will miss her. I want to wish her all the best that life has to offer.
Jacksboro has been good for her and was a step in the right direction down her journalism road.
I hope those greener pastures make you so fat, you bust through all the doors!